They got away with everything.
We are left with nothing but ashes to cling to.
Our therapist has asked the question we never did. We never made it out of that bathroom until our recovery started. “You have to find something to live for, something that drives you”. This question, never once, occurred to us, never.. After the kidnapping, there was nothing left of us. We were already ghosts long before we were kidnapped. Considering this idea was completely foreign, as we believed we were already dead.
Art and music. The two things that I think Katy (Mark?) and I love more than anything. Color, sound. We really love color. We love sound, just as much. Someone suggested that we might love playing a cello. We all freaked at that idea – Music has saved our lives more than once. We never thought about creating it.
Katy still shakes when she picks up a pencil. This drawing made no sense up until a few days ago. We consider this to be one our best drawings.
Here, we are all growing from our literal deaths, represented by a coffin, with the top broken/torn off by plants that are very much alive. This is a recurrent theme, coffins, effigies, flowers and of course the number 3, which has been encoded in every movie we watch, every song we listen to and everything we draw.
We believe this is an Autism action, as we also love math. It’s even been encoded into Katy’s fragmentation persona, Amy Lee. (Number of leaves, 3). This is the image that we use on this site to denote that Katy is sad/upset/alone/lonely. The number 3 is a dominant and constantly recurring number and it shows up in movies, music, art, the methods we use to communicate with the world and others.
Until our recovery began, we didn’t know that there were 3 alters and the number 3 meant absolutely nothing. That’s how bad all of this is. We have been in the complete dark for decades. The number 3, however, is everything.
Note leaves in foreground. 3. Mike, Mark and Katy. Here is more artwork encoded with the number three. Three candles, three plants, 3. The number just doesn’t stop popping up. We ended up not realizing that we were drawing in three’s for our entire lives and recovery. We had no idea we were intentionally drawing leaves and things in groups of three.
3 lives taken/destroyed (Votive Candles)
Another plant. 3 leaves. Note the configuration of the plant leaves. Two leaves close to each other with a much larger leaf to the right. This is Mark (Alpha). The two smaller leaves are Katy and Mike (Left).
Same three leaf pattern/configuration (Katy, Mike, Mark)
More of the same, 3.
Here are some more random drawings. 😀
We will be writing tonight about “Fragmentation persona’s/alters” later this evening. We are very excited to write about this. Perhaps it might help someone else.
Note, 3 mountain tops.
Art and music to save our lives as it has done before? It’s always possible.
M and K