Hello lovelies. We are operating on empty tanks (Sucking serious fumes) but the writing is keeping us together. Mark, my rage and fury alter starting popping his head up more and more as I grew into my early teens. His first appearance as an actualized alter/echo was “Jaws” from the 007 series.
Just as with all other alter persona fragmentations, the same target triggers apply to male persona fragmentations as well as female persona fragmentations. What made Drago so terrifying to us was the lack of an expression on his face, much like Katy’s personas. An invincible character. I can see why Mark likes him.
Katy standing up to Mark, her arch enemy and or perceived threats to her or us. (Note her hair split down the middle)
Katys expressionless face (Wonder, fear) observing others that cannot see her
when a split occurs and she becomes dominant. (Note her hair split down the middle)
Katy, expressionless, armed to the teeth with arrows (Survivalist Fragmentation). We have nodded like this many times. This becomes a physical echo/action. When we are nodding like Jennifer Lawerence, Katy has become dominant and saying hello. (Note her hair split down the middle)
This “Target Trigger” (The lack of facial expression, hair split down the middle) is a constantly recurring theme that I/we only started detecting about a year ago.
When Mark selected (Or selects) Drago, we literally become Drago. We trained (and train) like him, spoke like him, had invisible (And very physical) fistfights – mimicking his boxing style and recreating the invisible fights he had in the ring. This behavior went unchecked until I was placed in a children’s home – but wasn’t investigated. I was removed from that home to hide the trauma that created Mark in the first place.
Mark was created by necessity. Without him, those that harmed us so severely would be dead – the balancing act is Katy, who hold’s the opposite of Mark’s trauma. Her’s is shame, sadness, fear and guilt. So it is Mark and Katy locked in a battle – as to who is going to pop up and become dominant. Without Katy to counterbalance Mark and vice versa, things would have been even more of a disaster than they already were.
It isn’t just a full body takeover. It’s a full mind takeover too. When Mark selects Drago, our lives become all about boxing, the music from “Rocky” over and over, thousands of times. We have to go and train in the mountains, just as depicted in the movies (and we have before) ect and so forth.
Until, however you are aware that you are living with DiD and Autism, you have no idea that all of the things you are doing are completely unhealthy and self destructive – not to mention being destructive of other relationships. You go to literal hell and back, sometimes, hundreds of times a day and not realizing it.
The trick is catching the split BEFORE or AS it happens. That’s the tricky part. We are getting better at detecting alter shifts and when reality starts to go out of focus – You’re in fantasy land. It’s quite disturbing and very frightening to experience. We like to call it “Fuzzing out”.
Only two people have seen Mark in the flesh (As physically dominant) and from what I/we have been told, it’s quite frightening to see. Mark is quick to go on the offensive and will lash out to retain control of our relationships – to protect us. He know’s what harm has been done to us, repeatedly, in the past.
His existence is to protect me, Katy and those we love from harm. He will defend those he loves, passionately and savagely as he has done before, selecting any one of hundreds of different male roles in movies that we have studied and echoed, for decades, unknowingly – In this case, Drago from Rocky 4.
M and K