Hello lovelies. Wow, we are like, half awake right now. As we promised, we want to share updates and interesting bits in our recovery. Perhaps they can help someone else. We forgot about embarrassment over all of this a while back. This was forced upon us and kept in the dark. Welcome to the light.
There are several versions of us that feel shattered and crushed. As the night progressed, Katy (More dominant than Mark), I’m pretty sure starting spinning up early last night. We ended up in a corner (the smallest amount of room possible) under a blanket and listening to Katy songs for about 8 hours (Sun down to sun up).
The sleeping in the corner thing is new. We have a few ideas what might be going on.
Katy loves dragging us back through time. She never left that bathroom, the trauma there and the decades of trauma thereafter, either. We have been called animals and we were treated like animals. One must wonder if someone up there because we are emotional (Perhaps current shame and guilt is connected to acting like an animal?), someone feels lower than an animal? It’s happened before. Who knows? <Shrugs>
Perhaps this could be yet more avoidance behavior (Physical Echo) that we have yet to ID and attach something to. Whatever it is,it’s something big.
We feel oddly safe in dog cages. We would climb into them all the time in our younger years and just hang out, in them. That’s scary, right? Perhaps the two are intimately connected dog cages/sleeping in corners. Hmmm.
Another possibility of course, is that there is still a very young child fragment that could be shouldering some of the burdens we are dealing with, right now. It takes a village, right?
Another possibility, of course is that we feel trapped and isolated. Sleeping in a corner of a room seems to us may be indicating we are “echoing” that feeling for me and anyone else witnessing us. Of course, sleeping in a corner of a room is harmless, it’s just an interesting behavior to understand you are partaking in.
Perhaps it’s a combination of all of those things? That fits better. 😀
When we were children, we slept in closets in our adoptive home. That’s how frightened we were of them and what they did to us. With everything going on, especially, Katy being so spun up it’s interesting to see who’s popping up and what persona’s they are selecting to express emotion.
M and K