THIS THIS THIS! Hello lovelies. We are trying our best to redirect some of our anger into something creative. Better than booze, right? Describing what it’s like to exist during a split has always been complicated. We figured out how to describe it in a way that all of you fine people will understand. Thank you for spending your time with us when it could be spent elsewhere.
When you are in the tunnel of someone dominating for control of your mind and body, you lose your entire memory. It’s gone. You only have the second ahead of you look forward to and plan for. That’s it. It’s like existing in one of those giant NASA (eesh) anti G machines, as seen here:
When these alters and I start fighting for who is going to be dominant, you get spun. Everything is a blur, as expressed here, an Echo that has extremely special meaning to us, in recovery. The moment we discovered that Katy existed, as an actual alter. This echo gave us a bunch of personal trouble, a lot of personal trouble:
The moment we start to split, the world flashes by, no more memories, nothing. We are spinning in a ride, in two dimensional existence in a 3D sphere, spinning freely on any axis sometimes for days, sometimes months, sometimes. minutes. Major dominant splits can happen at any time.
In this existence of sorts, the “In between” of realities, time doesn’t exist anymore. There are no consequences in the life of whoever is fighting or battling for control (Possession). There’s nothing, only reaction the second ahead of you. Very frightening place to live and exist in.
You have the moment ahead of you until someone becomes dominant. That’s it. No history, no up, no down, no left, no right. This movie was one we echoed as child, endlessly. This move (Superman) was released right around the time of some of the most severe abuse and torture was happening. This image makes us want to throw up. It’s trigger awful flashbacks.
Mike and Katy meeting. Katy, as we have said so many times before is the best part of us, the most colorful part.
There you are lovelies. This is what being inside of a split is like. Terrifying, frightening, shock inducing. They are awful in every regard. Coming back into reality again and again and again becomes exhausting and painful. Especially if that reality is awful and heartbreaking, in many, many regards. There are some moments where you end up n the corner of a room, trust us. Anyone with DiD can attest to this one.
M and K