Hello lovelies! Thank you for stopping by today when you could be elsewhere! Monday is upon us all! Arrgh!
What an evening! We have Evanesence cranked in our headphones and a piping hot cup of coffee next to us. We are all still kind of reeling over the awakening of Elizabeth, apparently Katy’s rage yang. This makes sense given that Mark is our compartmentalized fury. Katy, to this point, has been more a beautiful, colorful soul hold sadness, shame and trauma. We have know why and how Elizabeth was awoken. It’s quite the story!
Oh man! We are still kind of like, “wow”. This wasn’t expected. Up until this point, we assumed there would only be three of us. This complicates things, exponentially. What’s even more ironic, is HOW Elizabeth was awoken, and awake she did, with a fury. This is Katy’s dark side – the dark side of her trauma and death, as well. It’s extremely interesting, that this woman, below, is a mummy that has come back from the dead.
As of late, we have been making a lot of life changes, having to sever some lovely but painful relationships, incurring a good amount of life stress, recovery trouble and of course, a perceived, major abandonment. All of these things were in the right place at the right moment.
Katy being dominant, losing people close to her, breaking down last Friday night – Then, feeling complete and total abandonment (Mimicking VERY SPECIFIC trauma as children) awoke Elizabeth. We don’t know if Elizabeth would have awoken if Katy wasn’t dominant. Again, everything had to be in perfect place. We gotta start playing the lottery.
We don’t know yet how old Elizabeth is and how long she has been dormant. We do know she is furious, however, which again leads us to the idea that this is Katy’s dark side that was suppressed. She’s rolling in and out with the rest of us.
Katy has been fighting hard to gain control and has taken over a few times. She blows through tremendous amounts of energy, dumping huge crates of boiling sadness into the ether.
Those that interact with her tell me that they can most certainly feel her presence, especially when she’s not feeling so hot. After she has quieted down, our bodies crash. Instant full body/mind burnout.
We are learning to communicate with others, through .Gif echos. It actually feels better for us, instead of actually talking, to simply send an image (If we are IM’ing or Emailing, ect) like this:
Katy, feeling trapped.
Being Autistic is tough. Everything is backwards and very loud. It’s always been nearly impossible for us to communicate properly, our feelings, our needs, desires, ect and so forth, our entire lives. Add in Multiple Personality Disorder and you have a hell of a problem on your hands. Add in PTSD you have a very, very serious problem on your hands.
Being able to visualize HOW we feel is much easier for us to convey, to others because what’s behind our feelings are EXTREMELY complex and most cannot understand how we feel. Instead of helping others try to understand, we show them. The type of vicious and horrible nature of our abuse is rare. Finding others that understand that abuse, what we have gone, through is very, very rare.
It actually feels nice for us to be able to communicate in this language, our language, that makes the most sense to us. For others, sometimes, it takes some time getting used to communicating this way.
No one, it seems, minds if we speak in .Gif and we thank them so much for being so accommodating. It’s hard to ask friends and family members to modify they way you speak with them – It’s even nicer when you receive a positive response when you may not necessarily deserve one.
It’s been a Godsend for us and makes us feel nice, too. Warm. Happy. Accepted.
We have tried this new and exciting way of echoing with a few very close people, with outstanding results so far.
Hello lovelies. You’re all beautiful! Have a lovely Monday! 😀
Everything going on was just too much, far too much and bam, we have a new Alter that came out of nowhere, like a freight train of anger, awake and furious. We dunno, this is big and this was the LAST thing we needed at this exact moment in time. Gawd. It just get’s better every frickin’ second. We expect someone to break down our door next and tell us we were the gunmen on the grassy knoll.
We love the smell of recovery in the mornin!
This wasn’t part of the plan. Oh well, things never really are, are they?