Hello lovelies! Katy it, seems, has awoken from her slumber. She’s along with a few others have bee dealing with some really awful stuff as of late. Katy took off we think about a week ago and really was staying quite quiet. That was until some gave her a special gift – Hair clips. Even better, she spoke too, with our half sister. Welcome back, Katy!
Elizabeth. Mark and Kayleigh seem to have dominated the landscape over the last few weeks. In a very interesting and lovely twist, we located our long lost half sister! She’s beautiful. Our sister and us are a lot alike – which is why we bonded so well. We met a very long time ago and we were described, during that time as “Scary”.
There was another one of those weird, serendipitous moments where all the work we have been doing, over 5 years pays off in seemingly small but huge ways. We had to lock ourselves into a building and diagnose ourselves – No one could help us but us. Last night, all of that hard work, all of our tears all the horror we are holding onto paid off.
We met our half sister when we met our birthmother, a long, long time ago. We barely remember it. It was a train wreck as we were so sick we simply couldn’t handle the stress of meeting birthfamily yet.
Our adoptive family made up the story of our birthmother abusing us to hide their abuse and our torture against us and our adoptive brother. We accused our birthmother of harming us as, this is what we were told.
Needless to say, we just weren’t ready and things got ugly with our birthfamily. The time wasn’t right. Our adoptive family made sure they painted our birthmother in the worst possible light, right behind her back. Now that we look back in wellness, we cannot believe what our adoptive family got away with.
Well, Katy got a wish. We spoke with our half sister last night for about 2 hours! It was hard as our sister was unsettled with who we were at the time. We can’t say we don’t blame her. Its even harder to listen to how sick we were really were. Its embarrassing and lightly humiliating. We wanted to listen though, to understand why our sister didn’t really connect well with us – No one could, not even us.
We were described as “Up” – Hyperaware, over stimulated. “All over the place”. It was hard to listen to.
That’s when the 5 years of work finally paid off, in this instance. As soon as we explained Autism/DiD/PTSD/RAD combination, it instantly clicked for our sister. Instantly. We could hear in her voice, in her rear harmonics, all of the stress of that time, released. We could hear in our sister’s voice that she UNDERSTOOD what was happening, in her own way
This is the power of self recovery. There were no “I don’t know’s” or “I’m not sure”. We were able to honestly answer every question our sister had and which, she deserved. We felt powerful in that sense of being able to explain a very complex problem in a way that other’s can understand, not just “hear”.
All we have wanted to do our entire lives was figure out why we were so sick for so long. All we wanted was to be able to explain to family and loved ones what happened because it wasn’t us and it never was. Our lives, all 38 years of them, were destroyed by monsters – Now, all we want is for others to understand why we were destroyed.
Our sister is going through some really awful things right now and we feel badly. There isn’t much we can do at the moment but listen and try to understand. It’s hard to hear someone you love going through such horrible, terrible things.
If we had any money we would give it to her but, alas, we can offer right now are our ears and minds. The one thing that amazes us, is how tough our birth family is. Our family bloodline is rife with trauma but incredible strength. For all she is going through, our sister is still smiling through horrible tragedy – Quite the standard to live up to.
Katy needed to hear that someone loved her, too. She got her wish. We were debating writing this article because of course, shame is involved. It’s still hard for us to tell family members that we are multiple people. It’s never easy explaining to people you love, how different you really are. we are still working on that – Being less ashamed. We are proud of what we didn’t ask for but it’s never easy having to exist as us around seemingly ‘normal” others.
Just as before, our sister and us had a blast. We both love to laugh and make others laugh. We do remember cracking jokes in front of our birthmother, with her. Stray kids.
For the first time in our lives, we felt like we belonged to others, a family. We remember feeling, for the first time what it meant to be loved, simply for existing.We had never felt that before and it frightened us. To have a sister, finally and to feel so comfortable around her, it was a magical moment for us, so long ago.
Katy and many others are jumping up and down – They are excited to meet our sister too. With time. They have so much they want to say to her, too. We know how overwhelming we can be and our story isn’t particularly happy.
So there you have it our lovely readers. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find really small pink hair claw clips? Right now, we have black, grey, white and opaque ones, which are wonderful too, as they were a gift. We sent some pictures of our hair clipped up and some report they can actually SEE Katy. This wasn’t the first time something like this has been said.
Whew! After all of that reading, you deserve some cool tunes to start your Saturday. Thank you so much for stopping by and reading our blog. It means so much to all of us that you spent your time with us when it could have been spent elsewhere.